Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Why do you pray?

Why do you pray?

When I was younger I used to say The Lord's Prayer every night before I went to sleep because that is what we were told to do at Sunday school. During my early teens I still said The Lord's Prayer at night but only when I remembered or when I had done something particularly naughty and wanted forgiveness. I would emphasise "FORGIVE us our SINS" and then rush through the rest of the prayer. As I got older though I started to realise that prayer wasn't only for times when we sought forgiveness. Slowly I started to see prayer as a source of comfort when I felt alone, pillar of strength when I felt weak and helpless, a medium of showing gratitude for the things I had and for the times I was really happy and even as a point of contact to God at any time of the day or anywhere for that matter. I started to say little words of prayer throughout the day. I still say The Lord's Prayer every night as a kind of introduction to my prayers, I guess it's a force of habit. But now I pray because I'm happy, I pray because I'm optimistic about the future, I pray to give thanks, I pray because I know God is listening and yes, I still pray for divine FORGIVENESS. Lol. Why do you pray?

As it is exam period, here's a little prayer for anyone reading this and that has exams coming up:

Lord Jesus,

As I now prepare for my exams, I ask you to grant me strength of mind and constant hope. Banish from my mind all fear, anxiety, regret and nervous distraction. May your gift of the Holy Spirit guide and enlighten my fragile mind. At this difficult time, give me the gift of self-confidence and an assurance that you will hear my prayer, answer my need and continue to guide me as I pursue life’s journey.

I ask this prayer through Christ Our Lord.

Amen.

Friday, 18 April 2014

Because I'm Unhappy.

14/12/2013


At this point in my life I'm very unhappy. I know I have many things to be happy about/thankful for but you see, unhappiness is a very selfish feeling. It casts shadows on all the good things and magnifies the sad sad things. I've been unhappy before. I thought I had overcome it but it just hides in a corner waiting to strike again and next time harder, with more force, having no mercy and taking no hostages. At this point I'm thinking; do I want it to go back into hiding? When it strikes again, and I know it will, will I be able to handle it again? How much more can I take? How much more till it eats me up and sucks every fibre of happiness from me? Till it masks everything that brings me joy and has me cowering from the light? I don't know. I guess I just have to get on with it. Put on a brave face and keep on keeping on. There's no one path to happiness, so there's no point talking about it to anyone. Does happiness find one or do you have to go looking for it in every nook and cranny of ones sour existence? I really don't know. I'm tired of feeling. Feelings that won't go away. Feelings that keep you up at night. Feelings that steal your smile half way. Feelings that make your heart physically ache and your stomach churn. I'm just tired.